Tuesday, October 17, 2006

B-list Celebrity Sighting

So Smoothface Guapo and I went to see Built to Spill for his birthday this past weekend. It was a sold-out show, and when we got there we noticed someone being turned away. Guess who? You'll never guess. I'll give you a hint:

"You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys?"

Still don't know? How about this:

"I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man."

My god. If you office types didn't get that one you're a disgrace to the cube you're sitting in.

Anyhow, this was a notable event for me. The only other white celebrity I've ever seen in Atlanta that wasn't on a stage was Andrew Shue. And he was eating at a sub shop.

It was strange, but what's so strange about that? =)

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Resistential Edifice

Bore what? Bore a hole? You're a bore? I'm a bore?
What? The last one??? Well FUCK YOU, BUILDING!

(I'll not hear from a building that I'm a bore, thank you very much.)

Hypothesis: My Cat Likes Having Her Picture Taken!

I can now safely conclude that my hypothesis is false.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Chivalry is NOT dead, my friends

Isn't this polite? Smoothface guapo took this photo some time ago. Apparently someone saw and perhaps even stepped on the dead rat here (looks more like a mouse, but whatever) and decided to warn others. I applaud this behavior. Don't you? I mean, it is kind of hard to see. And what if you were wearing stilettos or something? Yuck.

Restoring your faith in humanity one dead rat at a time,

Monday, October 02, 2006

My feet are more reliable anyways

So I'm not on the MARTA anymore. Every day I hop on the bicicleta and ra-dee-da to downtown A-T-L. Truth be told I hate the train and am glad not to have to ride it anymore. It smells like pee. Plus people are generally assholes and I'd rather not have to be so near them. So although I have no insurance now and taxi cabs occasionally try to hit me and I had to scream "FUCK YOU BITCH!" at the top of my lungs last week at some cunt who tried to run over me in her old-ass Volvo that I ended up zooming past when she got stuck in the rubberneck up by Peachtree, the bike is much less irksome.

However, there will be no more MARTA pictures from now on. Not that that's ever why any of you came here in the first place. Thank god you guys have never seen my sweet ass or I'd need a bodyguard.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I Rode the Great Space Coaster Back

While teaching how to structure a paper about Theme for English B by Langston Hughes, the brattiest boy in my class piped up and said that nobody really learns anything in college. I rolled my eyes and continued the lesson.

The next piece we covered was Robert Herrick's "To The Virgins, To Make Much of Time." For those of you unfamiliar with the poem, Herrick was a 17th-century chaplain who wrote erotic Renaissance verse. The first stanza goes:

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

I asked the class, "Okay, kiddoes" (yes, I call 'em "kiddoes"), "why would virgins be associated with rosebuds?"

Braving the giggles, my one Taiwanese student timidly said, "Because she's still got. . .because they've still got. . . " while making a motion with his hand like he was holding a baseball.

"The HYMEN?" I said loudly.

Bless his heart. The class was roaring with laughter and the kid turned beet red.

Amid the dying laughter, the bratty boy asked, "what's a hymen?"

"SEE! You're learning already!" remarked the quick witted Professor Anita.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I Love You, I Just Need Some Space

Look, I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I'm not quitting. I'm just in sort of a transitional phase with my job and all. Quite frankly the blogosphere is too interesting a distraction, and I gotta be on the ball with some of this. You'll know I'm back when I start making smartass comments on your blogs again. Just didn't wanna leave my blogger peeps hangin'.

Much love,

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Population Sign

Can you read that? It says 4,864,802. No wonder it seems like this town is riddled with assholes somedays. Law of averages says it must be.