Divulgeblog

Crap-am I first?
I haven't even finished my coffee let alone understand Shakespeare. I knew a dog named Shakespeare. He tried to bite me. I was 19. His owner cut off my hair b/c I had accidentally turned it green.
**I will go finish my coffee now.

I meant: WOOOOOOOO
I AM FIRST!!!!!!!
YEAHH!!!!

I wanna ROCK with YOU! (all-night!)

(sorry.)

I fell madly, head-over-heels in love with Shakespeare in high school, and these sonnets are definitely part of the reason why. Just because it's in iambic pentameter and Elizabethan English doesn't mean it can't be bawdy, funny, or sexy as hell.

~d you ARE first! Where have you been, girl? Sorry about that dog. Maybe you could have recited some Shakespeare to him to soothe him and he wouldn't have tried to bite you. I think Shakespeare is a stupid name for a dog. But what do I know. We have a cat named Gerardo (as in Rico Suave).
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~d ain't nothin' wrong with a little MJ in the AM. =)
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tits if your husband is a dork I bet he is the happiest man alive. =) Isn't it dirty? I mean, I knew Hamlet and 12th Night were pretty dirty but some of this stuff is just filthy! I love it!

The first one reminds me of "Used to Love Her" by GNR. He's saying his last goodbye before he buries her in the back yard.

interesting parallel, toby. I wonder if ol' Axl ever got into Renaissance poetry. I think he should be asked to be the next Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar, don't you? I mean, he can handle it. He's still performing and all.

Blogger is being such a bitch right now.

poetry sucks! shakey was quite the perv at times.

oh btw, thanks for sharing with us

When I first read this, I'm like What's resistance poetry??

mgc you're such a poser. You luuuuuv poetry almost as much as you luuuuuv tofu. ;-)

And this one was just for you, honey.
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cg at least you attempted to read the post; it is a little long. And don't feel bad. A lot of people get confused by big words. Though most of those people don't have English degrees. ;-)

Call me winky today. ;-)
;-)
;-)
;-)

Okay that's it. I'm out of winks for a long time. I don't even know why I started.

I lie all the time to get a piece of ass.

Can I comment yet?

bv what are you talking about? You don't have to lie, you sexy bitch, you.
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egan, yes you may.

Castles don't have phones, asshole.

I know it makes no sense, but the second one after reading it for a second time made me think of the Rocky Horror Picture Show

The Time Warp

A plague on both of your houses.

I knew this poem cause Mr. Katimski read it to the class in My So-Called Life.

Shut up.

Whoa-did I see Rocky horror Picture Show in here? DUUUUDDDEEEE.
Where've I been?

(sing wit me!)
I've been to PAIR OF DICE...
but I've never beeennnn tooo meeeeeee


heh heh heh

MJ in the AM.

HAHAHA!

HA!

Cuz this is THRILLER! YEAH! Whoa!
*don't stop til you get enough!
I am on a roll now!
(somebody STOP ME!)

Hey whats for dinner?
OH NO, not meatloaf again?

What kind of wine shall we have?
TABLE WINE?

A toast

toby, LEEEETS DO TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAAIN. LEEEETS DO TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAAIN.
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egan, God. Is Romeo and Juliet the only Shakespeare you could drum up? Amateur. (scoff!) I bet you got that line from the Baz Luhrmann movie.
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brooke it's good to know you teach for a living. I hope that you bring the visual pedagogical approach of televison analysis in your classroom so that the children can learn from such excellent programming as My So Called Life in the same way that you did. You think I'm kidding but those are (as exibited by your memory here) superb and incomparable teaching tools.

P.S. I'm assuming the "shut up" comment was directed at toby or egan or something.
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~d, did you ever finish that cup of coffee?
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~d did you know for years I thought he was singing "Keep on with the four-star stroke?" Well, I did.
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~d I hate meatloaf. HAAAAATE it.

Anita, the shut up comment was in fact geared towards me. I made an advance on Brooke and she didn't like it. Sucks to be me.

A long time ago I saw an episode of Moonlighting and they did a skit on Shakespeare. It's the only time I've seen anything to do with him. He's hard to understand. I'm sure you have no idea what show "Moonlighting" even is. You're a youngin.

I like how you post the more accessible poems for us, your dullard reading public. THOUGHT: You might as well have called us STUPID! Punk.

RE: 130 - So Shakey Shakey liked his women dull eyed and suffering from halitosis? I know some people like that....they work with me.

P.S. I'll still share my shoes with you. I have some in siz 6.5. OOOOOO!

It can be our little secret - we won't tell SFG. And then you can write a poem about my shoes and how my feet pronate out and also maybe that my big toes curve up. Like the Jolly Green Giant's.

egan wtf? It doesn't suck to be you? YOU ARE IRONMAN! (DUN-DUN-DUNNUNUN-NEERNEERNEERNEER-DUNNUNUN!)
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les, oh I definitely remember the foibles of the sometimes-in-love detective duo of bruce willis and that blonde woman who's name I can never remember. Her hairstyle made her whole head resemble a mushroom. My parents LOVED that show, so I ended up watching it a lot. That and Benson.
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L, then I guess I'm stupid too. I was just commenting in class on Tuesday that John Donne makes me feel stupid sometimes. Renaissance stuff is deceptively simple on the surface and you have to know a lot of Greek and 16th century history to get that the erotic poems are really about something boring, like the Catholic church.

But you're right. All of you are idiots. Not only did you catch the insult you called me out on it. (What? I'm a professor now. It only logically follows that I should become an elitist snob too.)
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L I would for real love that. I've vowed not to buy any more shoes until we move to Spain. The question here is what could I swap with you in return? We have rap and fried chicken in the south. OH! And humidity. Any of that sound good?
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L the question here is where could I hide them once I got them? Actually I think I have a good spot in mind. He sometimes reads my blog so I don't want to say the exact locale...

I thought Prince was saying: Feel it, come on it. Yeah. When in fact he was saying Little Red Corvette. My mind was IN THE GUTTER even back then.
(no-coffee STILL unfinished! RRAAARRRGGHHHH)

Shaky Shakespeare was to women like a dog, always running around trying to get a piece of cake without getting cougth.
anita, since you were in class today, can you tell me how many women hearts he broke?

~d how the hell did you hear that??? You DO have a dirty mind. I don't even want to know what you thought "When Doves Cry" was about, you kinky thang. =)
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Mone I don't even know. He was a player though. Some of his sonnets are about men, too, so on top of all the women's hearts he broke, he broke some men's hearts, too! He definitely had a way with words. He's ugly, but I probably would have slept with him. ;-)

"He definitely had a way with words. He's ugly, but I probably would have slept with him. ;-)"

Anita, comments like this makes me glad I am a writer.

Jerk, that's what I'm supposed to say since I defended your stance on another blog. Now that it's out of the way, how you doin'?

Hi Anita,
Toby told me that you may be of some help to me. I have just posted a question on my blog about a teaching interview that I have coming up--I am wondering what kinds of questions to expect in the interview. Thanks!

I Do It

I do it in the movies
I do it in the park
I do it when it behooves me
I do it in the dark
I do it in the airplane
I do it in the car
I do it in a subway train
I love to do it in a bar
I love to do it in a crowd
I love to do it when I frolic
I do it quietly and I do it loud
I admit that I am a fart-oholic

Chester “Stinky” Higgenbottoms



dogaduoo

I'll take fried chicken and lightning bugs. And you can hide them in the shoe boxes you already have. Maximize your space, woman! Flats can be wedged in with heels, etc. I'll also accept timeshare credit in your pad in Spain.

Sexy bitches unite. It'll be like Voltron and shit.

Anita, I thought you might like video since you're a loyal Nintendo fan.

sexy bitches untie!
WOO!

~d heart BV

Anita-I did NOT mess up When Doves Cry-I was older. AND I knew a girl WHO SWORE MJ was singing: "I'm gonna say it from the side of a mountain top" instead of Momma-say-momma-saaa-maa-maa-coo-saa

(ahem!)

I'm always the last one to the party...

I just saw 12th Night at a ampitheater on Lake Tahoe. It was AWESOME! And it was dirty. I had no idea the word cunt goes back that far!

word verification says I am a Lady X God!!!
leydixgd

shit--now my post looks all crappy because I signed in as "other" because I was on working on a new blog (check it out feministbitch.blogspot.com).

even blogger is taunting me: gosux was my word verification this time...

And then chaos erupted. Don't make me pull this van over and spank you!

Ahem...

barry, only you're not ugly. Your wife is really hot, though. Did you woo her with your literary prowess?
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egan, we all know that you only defended my stance because you were bored. You don't really have any morals or values or viewpoints. Actually neither do I. People like us aren't smart enough to have opinions. Okay well maybe you have strong feelings about nose-picking but who doesn't have a stance on that? Fine, thank you.
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slade, well, for starters try not to put your hand on your face like that during the interview. You'll smudge your makeup. I'll be at your blog in a minute.
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toby are you channeling the author here? Do you identify with this poetry? I don't really get this poem as I am a woman and we don't fart. Well, not the classy educated ones, at least. Okay well maybe we do but it doesn't smell. (nervous pause) So anyways, I told your joke to Smoothface Guapo last night. Heeeee-larious.
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L, Smoothface Guapo and I would LOVE to have you to Spain! But not in a weird we're-going-to-try-to-get-you-in-a-threesome way. Sorry. I feel like I have to say that because I'm paranoid of things like that. It happened to me once and caught me off guard and I guess I never shook it off. Creepy. Anyhow, we could go have tapas and wine lunch and then go on a reckless Spanish shoe binge! Oh, and I'm a little ashamed to admit that I don't know what lightning bugs eat. Do you know? I'll need this information if I'm to ship you any.
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bv talk about one sexy-ass giant robot. Only with sexy square robotic breasts. HOT!!
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egan that made me laugh so hard. Thank Christ for slow-motion.
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~d oh, sorry. Actually I was hoping you would say something about what "When Doves Cry" because I'm not sure I know what it's about.

I CONFESS! I CONFESS!

Whew! It felt good to get that out.
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mainmama get out of my head! I LOVE 12th night! It's my 2nd favorite Shakespeare play after Richard III. MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE! I'm going to check out your blog now. I love the name already.

I wooed her with something, that's for sure. I think it was my uber-charming personality; she claims it was hard liquor. :)

Oh I believe that. Whiskey has amazing wooing powers with me. Though I'm not sure I'm so sexy with whiskey breath. Notice I said "not sure" there, not "definitely" not.

anita, you'd be sexy with garlic breath.